she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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