haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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