omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
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He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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