why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize