Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize