it hurts more in the daytime
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize