dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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