This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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