It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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