Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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