well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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