My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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