I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize