he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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