Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize