I think I just saw someone hide a body.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize