No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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