This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize