I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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