my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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