so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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