I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
