How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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