Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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