Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize