He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize