i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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