do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize