P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How does one acquire holy water?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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