I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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