I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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