Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
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I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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