Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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