Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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