Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize