Ambien. No doubt about it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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