Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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