What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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