The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize