Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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