im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize