just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize