I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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