john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize