She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize