Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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