its not stalking. its research.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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