Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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