Dual....:-)
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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