I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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