do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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