doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize