Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize