i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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